Everyone needs a good laugh

… even if it’s at someone else..  LOL

As Nathaniel and I left the orthodontist this morning at 8 am, the guy in the car behind me honked in an attempt to get the car in front of me to turn right on red (even though there as oncoming traffic).  Immediately, I chuckled to myself and felt my own personal rebellion kick in.  So when it was my turn to turn right on red, he honked at me, too.  Of course, you know what happened.  I creeped around the corner and chuckled again. As he sped around me cursing and shaking his fist, I smiled and waved profusely.  Nathaniel asked what was wrong with the guy… This turned into an object lesson for when he’s unreasonably demanding that we do what he wants RIGHT NOW!  I pointed out, “do you see how ridiculous he’s behaving?  Is that how you want to be perceived?”
 

And you can probably guess who was at the very next red light waiting for us despite his speed.  As we pulled up next to him I waved and said, “good morning!”  He began yelling and signaling for me to roll my window down.  I laughed and turned on the radio.  Nathaniel watches this and after the guy drives away, I said, “you see – adults get bullied, too.  But he’s going to go on and had a terrible day complaining about me and I’m going to go on and have a GREAT DAY!  Do you see the difference??”

And that is exactly what I am doing right now.  Why didn’t I roll my window down?  Because what’s the point?  Either I’m going to get engaged into a negative dialogue which often ends in 2 people in road rage and terrible moods or I’m going to hear terrible insults and it’s going to ruin my day…  NO, I choose NOT to receive those insults in my heart.  I will protect my heart and simply pray for him.  Because in the end… EVERY knee will bow to my God.  Even his – and hopefully his knee will bow before THAT day and he will know the peace that is freely offered to him.

Make it a great day today!

A day of life with one eye

Yesterday morning was thinking about the fact that most don’t know (or don’t remember) that I only have vision in one eye.  My eye works perfectly.  It’s the optic nerve that takes the image to our brains that doesn’t work.  In late 2004 it became enflamed and I lost my vision.  It was this one symptom that led to my MS diagnosis.  Most people with Optic Neuritis get their vision back within a few weeks of having Optic Neuritis  (I think the stat is 90%).  I am one of the lucky few. 

You might be thinking… oh that’s terrible.  OR you might be thinking that’s so bad.  Most of us don’t realize until something happens like this… that each eye has a specific function.  And so, losing vision in one eye affects daily life more than you might think.  The dominant eye scans (as when reading or looking for something) while the non-dominant eye is a place keeper and bounces around (to help you keep you place in the right line of a page while reading).  Now imagine losing your dominant eye.  What are the implications?  You can no longer read outloud because while your brain can interpret things while bouncing around, your mouth cannot.  You can no longer effective look for things.  As a mom of 40 with a 3 year old and 18 month old, this was crucial.  I was terrified of taking my kids to the mall play center.  At church (3500 people) if I lost them I’d panic and have 3-4 adults helping me look for them.  Can you imagine looking for a fast moving 18 month old with an eye that bounces around instead of scans?  Exactly! 

Over the years, I’ve adjusted and re-learned how to read outloud (it takes great concentration), learned how to make sure all details are correct (another tricky thing with a bouncing around eye), and I’ve learned how to look for things.  Although, that last one is hard.  It takes my entire concentration when looking for a physical object if it’s not in the place I expected.  Don’t talk to me… I might snap at you.  I really can’t even listen to you.

When I started running it was also terrifying… I could hear people coming up from behind.. but suddenly (as it seems when you have no peripheral vision) when they were RIGHT THERE.  I would startle.  A few months later, my husband started running and I would have him always running my right side so that stopped happening.  I’m back to square one though since he now runs much faster than I do.

At our church the main open area isn’t brightly lit.  As a result, I have not seen people (because my seeing eye has an astigmatism which requires a lot of light to see clearly) and they have taken offense accused me (to others) of ignoring them.  Sadly, one in particular took it seriously enough that it let to other things and she is no longer a friend.  Other times, I have walked into the support pole because my head was slight turned to the left.

It’s been a journey – and one that makes just about everything in life a little or a lot harder.  You won’t hear me complain… so you probably haven’t noticed this vision lost and it’s impact on me or you’ve forgotten.  For me it’s just a part of daily life.  I can still enjoy beautiful scenery (but not 3D movies) and music.  I can still read my Bible and run and take care of the house.  It just takes a little more work and creativity.  And someday I will see clearly again.

This picture is Winter 2005 - about 4 months after Optic Neuritis struck

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